Dealing with a existential crisis?

I remember the first day I realized how weird being conscious was, I was 8 and about to get into the tub when I realized "what is really happening right now? is this real?" and of course this fucked me up in the long run.

I'm 16 now, I've made plenty of mistakes and I'm barely getting by highschool, I'm writing this to get it off my chest. Being a junior seeing how my adulthood is steadily approaching I can't help the nervousness, but at the same time I can't escape the emptiness of fearing I have no purpose. That everything I do is for nothing because I will die another nameless face soon to be forgotten. I strive to matter more than anything, me dwelling on this has caused me to lose motivation on a lot of things, especially knowing everything will end eventually. Even right now, I'm curiously wondering if this is really happening, yeah, I know what you're thinking "oh great another angsty teenager who thinks he is profound beyond his years.". I don't really show this side of me at school or in front of anyone really, who would understand? I hate how often I dwell on past moments, wishing they would've lasted forever, but they won't. How do I just be content without pondering this bullshit any longer?

Guess I'm just a pussy who's scared of time, that's probably it, I should toughen up. Rick and Morty really makes me remember this type of shit but I love it nonetheless.

 

That's an interesting first impression to make here.

Anyways, I believe you're overthinking everything in life. You'd probably do great is Psychology, being able to think deeply about such ideas, maybe even a career about it. Everyone will reach the state of adulthood, it's just a matter of how they'll be during that state. I think it's pretty normal to have opposite personalities, or 2 different faces anyway, in terms of personality. Either way, you got time, just keep on movin forward with life. What's done is done.

 

You seem to have a lot of interests you're passionate in, so I'm sure you can find a direction to go in life :D Hell, you don't even really have to commit to a life goal or career path or something. There are plenty of adults, young to middle aged, that still have no idea what they want to do in life, and some of those people are still really interesting.
If you want to talk more about weird things like consciousness, I'm down *-*

 

Let future Vlonewulf deal with it.
Enjoy it while you can.

Just remember to not do anything that will cause any problems to future Vlonewulf, please God if you take anything away from this make it that.

 

I think you and @Blacksmith would get along nicely.

 

Smart people, thanks for your own views on it, I dunno why I randomly get hit with those thoughts sometimes but thanks for the nice replies.

 

You might never find an answer to your profound question. You might indeed die without understanding the purpose of life, just like many others. You can decide to stop bothering about it like many others and just die pathetically without having achieved anything and become a forgotten nobody in a few decades. You can strive to become the best human you could possibly be, save the world, be a hero and stop the climate change and you would still not find satisfaction, because you did it all for people who won't even appreciate it and you won't be alive or even the slightest of existent to enjoy what you achieved. You also can't do the opposite, just go wild and become the biggest antagonist you possibly can and just have fun and do whatever you really want just because you have the power to do it. Because if you did, you'd end up spending your already restricted life in a prison cell.
Maybe you think, well fuck it, no matter what i do, there is no positive outcome in my life and you are absolutely right.
You should be scared of time, it goes away forever, every second passes exactly once. It's not like in a game where you get save points, you fuck up once, you have fucked up forever. You will just keep struggling through life till you die and even after death you don't know what's expecting you, where your conciousness and spirit will end up if you happen to believe in something scientifically unprovable.
Your problems have just begun, it will get worse from here on, much worse, in 10 years you will laugh at how pathetic you were for thinking you had problems. Your question might never get answered because you shy away from the answer you need and you end up giving up and accept the fact that nothing makes sense and you just continue your life as a cattle, do whatever you need and can do to satisfy your basic needs and watch the time pass untill you can finally rest forever in a pit of dirt.

To me, this is what makes life interesting. I cannot relate to you at all, but i understand you. Life makes perfectly sense if you have the right knowledge.
Life sure isn't fun most of the time, but it's good.

 

You're right, I'm aware of how cruel reality is and I could just be another sheep in a world full of others just like me. I don't want that however so I'll continue to refuse that role. Thank you for your opinion and honesty, I think I'll be able to find what I'm looking for soon. I appreciate it.

 

^this

Sometimes life doesn't make sense unless you force it, but I believe it's better that way, Imagine you where given a certain purpose when born and you realize that it's not something you like, it's better to give oneself meaning instead of being forced to live for something you don't like, if there is no meaning then we are free to do whatever we want with our lives, personally I don't believe suffering it's a bad thing if you don't want it to be, for example much musicians make really beautiful pieces of music inspired on their crisis of the past, what I mean is that you can use it as an inspiration to do something better.

I'm not gonna tell you that "the universe will conspire in your favor" like those self-help books that give false hopes, instead I say: face things as they are and overcome them.

 

That's pretty normal, everyone goes through that stage of being worried about future, and losing many things that you have in this state, however this is called growing up. You will eventually grow up man, no worries, let it be natural, the most important thing is you don't want to regret about many things, people made mistake, for instances i made a lot of mistake, and i got mistaken by people a lot. To be essential, i also tried to talk about this issues with my friends, real life friends not everybody cares about what i said, back then i couldn't understand, but now i know, they didn't care because they were also facing the same problem as i am, worried about adulthood ya. However, imma give you this.

"If you cannot change the world, change yourself." Open your eyes see things differently, don't let your fear narrow down your mind, you will be much happier and have a good time in life, and i am 22 by the way. So yeah, stop worrying, appreciates what you have and have fun.

Hopes this really helps you, what is life without happiness right? xddd

 

I was in your position earlier in the month and its gone on since i think the beginning of November. i just lived my life with a sort of depression and loss of motivation mainly because I thought the things i was doing didnt amount to anything at all. that I was expendable and easily replaced so I just gave up. But low and behold when I told myself I had nothing going for myself, I had a job as a cook at a little Caesars (I Had to look for another job because it closed down. RIP) In short don't complain about those things if you aren't doing anything about it

Basically just your best bet is to evaluate your life and find the main issue, then before trying to solve it, try to come to terms with it. because if you deny the issue and try to fix it, it will only become more and more of an issue while if you DO come to terms with your main issue then you can work with it and slowly but surely get rid of it.

EDIT: @Collin No.

 

to be honest, the best thing to do is find yourself like the others said above. because even if you don't leave a historic mark or become known worldwide, what you do day to day affects other people, both directly and indirectly. and because of that, you will leave a mark without leaving your name with it, affecting things to come. everyone does this every day, and although almost none of us will be remembered by our names, what we have caused as a whole will be, leaving an untold mark throughout time.

you may not become anything thats known for millennia to come, but what you do because of who you are will have an effect on things here long after your gone.