Ace in the Stain (CANCELED)

Discussion in 'Comic Galleries' started by bluezemmi, Apr 5, 2015.

  1. bluezemmi

    bluezemmi Love all of you
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    Ofcourse man, Will do next month :)
     
  2. Tooler

    Tooler Legend
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    It's well made but there's a lot of grammatical errors that threw me off here and there
     
  3. bluezemmi

    bluezemmi Love all of you
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    Sorry man, Dutch is my native language so you sometimes can see grammatical errors.
    I'll work on my grammar.
     
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  4. Vegito

    Vegito Newbie

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    I finally caught up on your comic. And I'm insulted that you didn't include Blue Diamond as a cameo, I thought we were friends you stupid hoe

    I noticed you zoom in way too damn close on some of these panels for not much good reason. It makes your pages feel a lot more claustrophobic than they already are.

    Example...
    [​IMG]

    The first panel is fucking sweet but you could of zoomed out like 100x less and Uyazaki's expression would of really helped that panels delivery.
    The panel that follows after it is fine.
    But that panel with the dead guy... clearly you needed a bigger panel or a zoom out. It's not exactly clear if the body is dropping, moving at light speed, or the green hair guy tossed it. You're hurting the readability of your pages with zooming in too close.

    I also recommend you start giving your panels some actual space between them too, it'll help things feel more neat. Since this an actual story it's important your readers can understand whats happening in the scenes and dialogue. Every panel you make should be clear and properly angled.

    There's a couple other examples where you needed to zoom in less than you did, but I'm sure after bringing this to light you'll be more conscious of it.
     
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  5. bluezemmi

    bluezemmi Love all of you
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    Chapter 1 ended after 16 pages.
    I'll bring you Chapter 2: Simpleton
    Enjoy

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Rip
     
  6. prozak jouska

    prozak jouska Zenkai Boosted
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    im such a good voice for the green guy
     
  7. Yegor141

    Yegor141 Praise the booty
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    0/10 - IGN , would not read again.
    I'm such a good voice for the grill, and Issac is such a good voice for the green guy.
    We should animate it!!!
    TO THE FLASH MOBILE!!!

    On a serious note, your grammar needs work bruh
     
  8. Tom

    Tom Retired Staff
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    Plz, I am immortal.

    The comic is pretty neat. I'm not a big fan of how you blur things when they're in motion, but that's my personal taste. For instance, when the green hair dude was spinning his gun around. I feel like that could've been better where we can have some idea what that spinning blur is, but then again it's just personal taste. Transitioning from the green dude getting stabbed to holding Luche could've been done better, possibly adding another panel showing him turn around or even just making that panel bigger so readers can register more what's going on. Granted, this is the only page that I read and I have no idea what's going.

    Like Yegor said, grammar needs some work.
     
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  9. bluezemmi

    bluezemmi Love all of you
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    I'm never joining that Skype call again if you roleplay as him.


    You have the sexiest voice for her tbh.
    I'll pay you with bananas you chimp.

    I heard you are a comic legend on MM.
    I really want to see your comics man, making me hella curious.
    The other pages I made have alot of grammar errors I'm sorry about that.
    Native language is Dutch.
    Probs will have someone check my pages and correct my errors before posting it.
     
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