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Please don't criticize my shitty poetry :C

Discussion in 'Literature' started by SuperKimxD , Sep 29, 2016.

  1. SuperKimxD

    SuperKimxD Space Case
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    But here's some shitty poetry. Some of it is for a creative writing class I'm taking this semester.
    • This is a pantoum about Kill la Kill xD and it has this NSFW drawing to accompany it.
    • This one is really weird and confusing. It was for my creative writing class, and this is the only poem of any posted here that I will accept CnC on, unless otherwise stated. The prompt I chose was to describe a picture that meant a lot to you. The image I chose is a meme about aspies, people with Asperger's syndrome. Here it is. And do feel free to ask questions; I know this is a really confusing one.

    If you guys like these, I'll post more! Do any of these sound appealing to anyone?
    • Two poems, each consisting of two rhyming couplets. Both are emotional, cheesy, melodramatic, and cornier than the state of Iowa. Also very personal.
    • A poem for my creative writing class about kiss scenes in various anime LOL... The prompt was to write a list poem, and one of the suggestions was to write a list of memorable kisses. So I put a twist on that.
    • Clannad's Ballad
    If you like anything, feel free to say so, but please don't say anything is bad or needs changing (save for the one listed exception) because I'm a fragile piece of shit that doesn't like my own work LOL. Oh, and that drawing for the Kill la Kill pantoum is old, but you can CnC that if you like?
     
  2. Aranimation

    Aranimation TrueHorizonBestHorizon

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    "There's a literature section?"

    Well, if I can't criticize it, I'll analyze it instead.
    "ambiguous", see what I did there?
    [​IMG]
     
    #2 Aranimation, Sep 29, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2016
    Blez and SuperKimxD like this.
  3. Aranimation

    Aranimation TrueHorizonBestHorizon

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    Admin, please combine posts, sorry for double-post. ;o
    Because I don't want to re-write the entire poem again, I'll put the rest of my comments here:

    Sounds: The combination of cacophonous and euphonious create an ambivalent sense of self. By using cacophonous sounds like "nd" (-d), "guh" (g-) and "tuh" (-t), such as in lines 1 and 2; the reader can understand that the speaker is having difficulty coming to terms with what has happened to her. On the other hand, we see that these lines slowly shift into both cacophonous and euphonious sounds like in line 4 where it begins with "kuh" (c-) but moves towards "mm" (m-) which demonstrates that the speaker is beginning to reason with herself as she tries to handle the situation reasonably. Then as more lines exhibit a softer opening (i.e lines 6 and 8), we can observe that the speaker is looking towards the future as it is the only way to become at peace; but by the end, the rougher sounds return to reiterate the poem's echo-like format that while the speaker begins to acquire closure, she will never forget what has happened to her.

    Punctuation: Throughout the poem, the only use of punctuation are commas in lines 4 and 10. These serve to reinforce the duality of the speaker's feelings that while the event has greatly effected her psyche, she understands she has to move on from it. Moreover, without the use of any other punctuation, it can be said that she will never forget the loss of her friend as that person will never leave her memories.

    Irregularities: While the entire poem is comprised of repeated lines, the two lines that do not match are lines 10 and 13 where the initial "fits me" is replaced with "suits me". From this minor change, we can see that the speaker is learning to adapt and evolve. Furthermore with the word choice, "fitting" is used in terms of clothes fitting, but could also mean "fitting in" society; this is then changed to "suits" such that she is looking for compatibility, not a fill-in.

    THEME: When revisiting one's past, do not regress due to the familiarity and comfort it provides; instead, never forget that past as it was what led to the molding of oneself.

    I clearly have way too much time on my hands and need to get a life
     
    #3 Aranimation, Sep 29, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2016
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  4. SuperKimxD

    SuperKimxD Space Case
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    OP. This is really interesting, thanks!