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the spirits unite ep1: hellenia is my pilot (wip)

Discussion in 'Literature' started by pinkcacti, Aug 8, 2017.

  1. pinkcacti

    pinkcacti prickly

    Jun 20, 2017
    Likes Received:
    oven hell
    i am a nervous plant
    but ive been brainstorming a series for almost a decade that i wanna write and the only way to get better is to practice and get peer reviews so i started working on what would be the first episode of my idea (but so far theres only half of it) and i thought maybe posting it here people who are better at writting and story telling can help me

    any criticism and advice is welcome so yeaaa

    tsu episode one "hellenia is my pilot"
    on the 19th year of the new millennia the cosmos burst before the stars forming the spiraling monument of silver known as the milky way galaxy.

    the very heart of existence resides in the hands of hellenia and Harmon. the celestial creators of earth, the afterlife, and the galaxy; and is protected by hellenias angelic worriers known only as the spirits unite. The spirits unite are an elite group of highly trained souls from earth capable of taking on matters of destruction larger than life. with the strength and speed of meteors every spirit lives by the oath to protect the creations of hellenia and harmon keeping the peace for earth and the afterlife from the hands of fate.

    souls are no stranger to cruelty, a soul in the right environment will form into monsters and reak havoc as they please. they are called kivorics, and their supernatural evil could cause a galaxy shattering catastrophe nearly unfathomable lest reformed or eradicated. large or small no quest will be to much for hellenias army.

    the soft sunset of a summers eve cradled by the call of Mourning Doves sets upon the beautiful displays of lacy white and the soothing red of the bridesmaids gowns as they stood before the alter. there a handsome groom and beautiful bride hand in hand looked lovingly to one another as the priest gave his speech.

    "..in sickness and in health, until death due you part?"
    "i do" exclaimed the groom beaming

    "and do you, Blanca ta-"

    the priest was suddenly interrupted by a red light from above landing down before the couple. the angelic being donning an outfit of ivory and ruby with a matching mask produced a crossbow shining in the same colors and aims straight for the bride...

    "no, she doesn't"

    ...and fires. piercing the woman straight through her once glistening eye nailing her to the alter.

    the audience was in uproar of fear and despair at the sight ready to pounce on the red being for her horrible deed but before they could attack the groom drew attention to the alter as his dead brides hair and skin pigment melted off her body revealing a stark white humanoid being possessing only a large mouth filled with jagged teeth. a new sound emitted from the audience then, a shrill monstrous shrieking from a man with the same large mouth charging straight for the shooter

    up came a voice from the skies "kyra-!!" it yelled as another being in a similar but purple attire fell from the heavens landing with a heeled boot to the monsters face. the grooms side began to flee in panic while more of the brides side continued the attack

    "shooting the queen blank isent exactly a good method of ambush you know!!" the other being said fending off the monsters using a large steel hammer

    "it kept her from fleeing and breeding spirit of course it is!, do you really wanna come back in a few months and do all this again!?" kyra argued shooting the oncoming enemy's

    "we can get the rest of them just fine anyway!"

    the small group of monsters was diminishing at a steady passe with just kyra and spirit looking like it was gonna be an easier job than anticipated.

    suddenly as her back was turned a rogue blank latched itself onto spirits arm tightly and drew blood as she screamed. kyra cocked her crossbow and fired missing the monster by nearly an inch of its face.

    blood splattered and the being fell dead.

    "SPIRIT~!!! are you alright!?" in unison cried two more girls in orange and blue versions of the same outfit both holding axes dripping from the blood of the dead blank cut into thirds

    "ah.. thank you yes!" spirit said holding her arm tightly. "I think that was the last of them unless any fled" the one in blue said "but at least we got the queen, so any stragglers will starve eventually"

    "spirit!!" kyra yelled running up to her injured team mate "sister!! i-im so sorry!! i don't know how i missed! i-"

    "kyra its ok, im not to hurt. and flare and marina got here just in time" spirit smiled at her concerned sister after they all helped her up from the ground

    "what took both of you so long?! we were up to our wings in blanks!!" kyra yelled to marina and flare

    "well sOOOoooRRYYyy! but we are supposed to be back up" flare sassed "besides its over now so quite your gripeing!"
    kyra huffed "hmmgh fine alright whatever, lets just get back to hellen and patch spirit up"

    several hours later after the team returned to their home of hellen all four arrived at spirits small house to properly tend to her wounds.

    "its still bullshit that i missed that blank..." kyra said plopping herself down on the couch with an irritated look in her eyes almost making them look more red than normal

    "were not going to get everything we go perfect kyra just relax"

    "but the more mistakes i make the less qualified ill be to become a 4 star spirit! only the most reliable and diligent people are allowed the rank and if my sloppy shooting keeps me from a promotion im gonna face hellenia and walk backwards into hell!"

    "im sure even the 4 star spirits make mista-OW"

    "sorry" said marina "the alcohols gonna sting a little more.."

    "...maybe they do spirit, but 3rd stars like us get evaluated pretty heavily and if i dont come out on top and get more power i could end up getting any of you into even more danger!"

    the front door clicked open and in walked two more women each carrying a grocery bag

    "clean up crews finished!"

    "and we got snaaaacks!"

    the two set the bags down on the coffee table. "it was messy down there but all the humans got away safe. poor dude had to see his fiance get shot and THEN turn into a monster" said the girl with bright yellow eyes

    "its what happens if you decide to date someone you meet in a high blank risk location, seriously who still goes out with people they meet in bars??"

    flare and marina glance at each other and spirit slightly raises her good arm

    "...exactly" kyra says flipping on the tv

    ive only come up with half the story so far