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SPICE Mar 20, 2015 10:44 PM
Went to get coffee from Starbucks and I see two obese women sitting across from me. I asked them, "Are you two from Scotland?" "No we're from Wales," one replied. "Oh I'm sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?" I don't remember anything after that.
Lynus Mar 20, 2015 11:03 PM
u ded son
NΣRO Mar 20, 2015 11:36 PM
You're fucking funny.
I like you.
You're funny guy.
Duo Bios Mar 21, 2015 1:53 AM
what lynus said

how the fuck u gonna be ded for 20 years and then come online to write this shit

yeah nah s'okay do yo thang
Lynus Mar 21, 2015 3:47 AM
protip if you forget ya girls name on a date take her to starbucks
SPICE Mar 11, 2015 5:24 AM
It's not gay to give yourself a blowjob, if it isn't gay to give yourself a handjob.
Aquila Mar 11, 2015 6:59 AM
Did anyone say it was...?
Magician Mar 11, 2015 7:24 AM
Smeagal have you been giving yourself head again. :I
SPICE Feb 24, 2015 4:17 PM
If Jesus walked on water, does this mean he swim on land?
Cami Feb 24, 2015 4:49 PM
Jesus can fly
CCshinobi Feb 24, 2015 5:44 PM
No, that would be Chuck Norris.
Taki Feb 24, 2015 5:46 PM
it's impossible to swim on land, it's possible to walk on water if you are either skilled enough in focusing your energy on your feet, with shoes made out of very light material and good balance or by simply freezing the water.
Taki Feb 24, 2015 5:48 PM
Jesus could like melt the land and make it lava and by focusing his energy around his skin or make it continuously heal itself, he could actually swim on land. But i am not sure if lava counts as molten land.
Taki Feb 24, 2015 5:51 PM
But to answer your question directly, no, jesus doesn't swim on land, he is in heaven where there is no land. But i assume you made a grammatical mistake there.
SPICE Feb 10, 2015 10:51 PM
I swallowed food coloring today, I feel like I dyed inside.
M3TA4PH0R Feb 10, 2015 11:05 PM
This man deserves a round of applause.
Drew Feb 10, 2015 11:19 PM
You dont need to be so BLUE about it. It's a good thing you didnt BLACK out after. I've RED that you should take some medicine to clear out the GRAY matter, and you wont feel so GREEN.
Thewindyfan Feb 11, 2015 12:02 AM
Gray matter is in the brain Drew why the fuck
prozak jouska Feb 11, 2015 12:11 AM
insert shitty color pun here
oh wait theres already on-
SPICE Jan 29, 2015 6:51 PM
I finally created a belt of watches. I guess you can say it was a, WAIST of time.
Dally Jan 29, 2015 6:58 PM
Well, allow me to give you a HAND of applause.
Spritefan7 Jan 29, 2015 7:09 PM
^ i read JOB..idkwhygodammitleo
Nani Jan 29, 2015 9:33 PM
*facepaws*
SPICE Jan 29, 2015 6:51 PM
I finally created a belt of watches
SPICE Dec 28, 2014 7:49 AM
I ate a watch. It was time consumming.
LeoV Dec 28, 2014 7:54 AM
first of all, HOW DARE YOU
Pandlax Dec 28, 2014 8:00 AM
ba-dum, TSSSS
Hatim Dec 28, 2014 12:41 PM
lol gg
M3TA4PH0R Dec 28, 2014 2:19 PM
#Bars
SPICE Dec 25, 2014 1:34 AM
murry chimpus
SPICE Dec 17, 2014 5:26 PM
Teeth in my butthole.
LeoV Dec 17, 2014 5:27 PM
wow tag ur porn
Innocent Bystander Dec 17, 2014 7:13 PM
Brush your shit
SPICE Dec 17, 2014 5:06 AM
The oldfags, they hath arrived.