Name: Cryptographic Shadow
Age: 21
Alignment: Anti-Good
Race: Human
Gender: Male
Personality: Mysterious and a bit creepy.
Sexual Orientation: Asexual
Character Picture: [ATTACH=full]550[/ATTACH]
Likes: Speaking with the dead, the night skies (he's nocturnal), and astronomy.
Dislikes: Going outside (except at night), and killing his opponents.
Strengths: His powers get stronger at night time via moonlight, usually during a full moon.
Weaknesses: His body gets weak if he overuses his powers, so he has to be careful of what he does.
Biography (long or short):
During his childhood, Crypto was always attacked at the hands of his father. At age 16, his father almost choked him, but he threw him at a wall. One night, when he was walking in the forest, he came across an injured dark force member, who gave him his abilities. He then fought alongside the dark force ever since.
Abilities: Powers of the dark force, which include, but are not limited to:
1. Dark Force Lightning
2. Dark Force Drain
3. Dark Force Grip
4. Dark Force Speed
5. Dark Force Push/Pull
6. Dark Force Protect
7. Dark Force Jump
8. Dark Force Absorb
Shadow Manipulation
Favorite Dishes: Varies
Zodiac sign: Scorpio
Height: 5 Ft 6 Inches
Weight: 125 Lb
Favorite Color: Dark grey
Languages: English
Crypto
Started by
BenthekidRS
on Oct 17, 2017 11:20 PM •
3 replies • 248 views
BenthekidRS
Oct 17, 2017 • 11:20 PM
• 1 likes
MRB Status - Not available right now.
MRB Profile
YouTube
DeviantArt
Discord ID - BenthekidRS#5847
Currently Working on - Dark Force Chapter 1
MRB Profile
YouTube
DeviantArt
Discord ID - BenthekidRS#5847
Currently Working on - Dark Force Chapter 1
Last edited Nov 02, 2021 4:06 AM
by BenthekidRS
(11 edits)
Aranimation
Oct 18, 2017 • 4:37 AM
• 2 likes
Good job posting your character biography here; not many people are bold enough to post their creative writings online.
On that note, however, this character biography could use a lot of work.
There's a lot of information here that don't seem to line up or have been thrown in for "flavor" - so let's break it down bit-by-bit and see what kind of character you're trying to create.
Name - ...his family surname is Shadow and his parents gave him the name Cryptonic? That question aside, I can see why you chose that name for your character because of the way the noble gas, Krypton, is used.
Race - superhuman, as in, after he acquired his "sacred dark powers"? Or was he and his familial members already considered as such?
Preferred music - flavor text, doesn't seem to contribute anything to his mysterious and unemotional character
Likes and Dislikes - "Likes Death" (???) He enjoys killing people....?
"Likes his sacred powers" - ok...?
"Dislikes rodents" - Not sure what this means, but can't say it's unnecessary information until I know more
"Likes astronomy" - Good! This is an interesting piece of information that your character has - a subject matter that possibly reflects his character
Strengths and weaknesses - You already listed Moonlight as Crypto's source of power and therefore his strength, no need to repeat it in Weaknesses as "weak to Sunlight". Give us something more to work with like how maybe one of his limbs was severely injured by the physical abuse he received as a child and therefore, is a weakness that shows itself sometimes. Or if you're going with the completely stoic character, a strength can be how unpredictable his actions are.
Ability - Dark Magic. This can mean almost anything.
[During his childhood, Crypto was the victim of child abuse] - redundant, let's learn more about what was actually done to him and the immediate effect.
Judging from context, I suppose it's physical abuse, but what happened at age 16 that caused his father to kick Crypto out rather than continuing to keep him around and torture him?
[Crypto then came across a shadowy entity who gave him sacred dark powers] - why? Or does this entity just give powers to every person who walks around the woods?
[(Fast forward five years) At age 21] - I won't question this unless you don't plan on covering what happened in that five-year gap.
[He then terrorized the town and lost his evil purpose when Alicia fought him and beat him.] - Other than his vendetta against his father, what evil purpose...? And who is Alicia?
It's a short biography, so you probably were only going for about a paragraph. Need to make the most of that limited space to show a real character.
The questions I ask you above do not necessarily have to be answered (in this forum or to me), but if they're questions that you cannot answer yourself, then it means that there are changes that need to be made to your character.
If anything I posted here has been taken to offense in any way, I'd like to say that everything I stated here is because I like to see and "experience" new characters.
Hope to see this character biography updated (or a completely new character created)
On that note, however, this character biography could use a lot of work.
There's a lot of information here that don't seem to line up or have been thrown in for "flavor" - so let's break it down bit-by-bit and see what kind of character you're trying to create.
"Basic Information"
Name - ...his family surname is Shadow and his parents gave him the name Cryptonic? That question aside, I can see why you chose that name for your character because of the way the noble gas, Krypton, is used.
Race - superhuman, as in, after he acquired his "sacred dark powers"? Or was he and his familial members already considered as such?
Preferred music - flavor text, doesn't seem to contribute anything to his mysterious and unemotional character
Likes and Dislikes - "Likes Death" (???) He enjoys killing people....?
"Likes his sacred powers" - ok...?
"Dislikes rodents" - Not sure what this means, but can't say it's unnecessary information until I know more
"Likes astronomy" - Good! This is an interesting piece of information that your character has - a subject matter that possibly reflects his character
"Abilities"
Strengths and weaknesses - You already listed Moonlight as Crypto's source of power and therefore his strength, no need to repeat it in Weaknesses as "weak to Sunlight". Give us something more to work with like how maybe one of his limbs was severely injured by the physical abuse he received as a child and therefore, is a weakness that shows itself sometimes. Or if you're going with the completely stoic character, a strength can be how unpredictable his actions are.
Ability - Dark Magic. This can mean almost anything.
"(Short) Biography"
[During his childhood, Crypto was the victim of child abuse] - redundant, let's learn more about what was actually done to him and the immediate effect.
Judging from context, I suppose it's physical abuse, but what happened at age 16 that caused his father to kick Crypto out rather than continuing to keep him around and torture him?
[Crypto then came across a shadowy entity who gave him sacred dark powers] - why? Or does this entity just give powers to every person who walks around the woods?
[(Fast forward five years) At age 21] - I won't question this unless you don't plan on covering what happened in that five-year gap.
[He then terrorized the town and lost his evil purpose when Alicia fought him and beat him.] - Other than his vendetta against his father, what evil purpose...? And who is Alicia?
It's a short biography, so you probably were only going for about a paragraph. Need to make the most of that limited space to show a real character.
The questions I ask you above do not necessarily have to be answered (in this forum or to me), but if they're questions that you cannot answer yourself, then it means that there are changes that need to be made to your character.
If anything I posted here has been taken to offense in any way, I'd like to say that everything I stated here is because I like to see and "experience" new characters.
Hope to see this character biography updated (or a completely new character created)
Thanks to Kaneko for creating my profile picture!
MBR STATUS: PM ME
http://maplemation.com/threads/lazarus-rising.32064/
Current projects:
- Maple Weapon Collab
MBR STATUS: PM ME
http://maplemation.com/threads/lazarus-rising.32064/
Current projects:
- Maple Weapon Collab
BenthekidRS
Oct 20, 2017 • 7:32 PM
I updated his profile. And I have a demo ready with him. [MEDIA=youtube]QcqFi5DAgG0[/MEDIA] Here's the link if you wanna check it out.
MRB Status - Not available right now.
MRB Profile
YouTube
DeviantArt
Discord ID - BenthekidRS#5847
Currently Working on - Dark Force Chapter 1
MRB Profile
YouTube
DeviantArt
Discord ID - BenthekidRS#5847
Currently Working on - Dark Force Chapter 1
StayFrosty
Oct 25, 2017 • 7:57 AM
Good, this is what we like to see.
I am glad to see that you are slowly getting used to the forum environment, it may still take a bit to get used to however.
Looking forward to see what you have next in store, keep it up.
I am glad to see that you are slowly getting used to the forum environment, it may still take a bit to get used to however.
Looking forward to see what you have next in store, keep it up.
Reply to Thread
You must be logged in to reply to this thread.
Login