spriting hair

so I looked at some of the character hairstyles on bannedstory4, and made this from inspiration:

Something really doesn't seem right. Can anybody show me?
I did look in the tutorial collection by LeoV, but SwissedToast's hair guide link wasn't functioning. :c (but thank though)


thank

Had to open this up in an editing software to see it more clear.
The base looks pretty good :), but it has too many straight edges in my opinion(indicated with arrows in the image link I gave), I think making them more curved would improve it, so far it kinda reminds me like they were chopped off. It's ok if that was what you were going for.
And it seems like the hairline is slightly off.
http://prntscr.com/e5db6i

I'm not very knowledgeable on the design aspect of it (it looks pretty good tho :0), but the shading is good, but there's not really an idea of where the light source is.
Here's a shading tutorial I found on MM a long time ago (made by someone else, not me xD).

Spoiler

Thanks c:

-added brown, black, blonde, and red
-took off bangs to help to show shape of top, might add bangs back
-"curved/fixed hairline"
Does the hairline look any better, and does it not look chopped off now?

Tra-la-tracey:
you posted right when I was about to ^.^ great minds think alike if that's what that even means.
Thank you for the tutorial, I will try to make a light source based off one of the palletes

Arcux said: (post #329846)

Thanks c:

-added brown, black, blonde, and red
-took off bangs to help to show shape of top, might add bangs back
-"curved/fixed hairline"
Does the hairline look any better, and does it not look chopped off now?

Tra-la-tracey:
you posted right when I was about to ^.^ great minds think alike if that's what that even means.
Thank you for the tutorial, I will try to make a light source based off one of the palletes

This looks way better, good job ^^

I stole some of Paul's old work to show you something but just for good measure..
Defining each hair strand by itself is a pretty oldschool method, so what we do to counter this is to replicate this through using differentiating shades to emphasise strands and direction and whatnot. Also, your hair is pretty lackluster colour wise so either I suggest steal some colours and experiment with them to get what you need to develop a style. But yeah, try to get a starting point where all the hair flows from cause yours looks like hot chips thrown on a table. yeah. Also something else Paul does is he makes all his strands like perfect curls so its not jagged or ugly, just like here:

the curls are like very circely and round kinda so yeah try to copy that maybe something about how the previous pixel shape doesnt go over the next one so yeah on the big one on the bottom right
1 1 1 1 2 5 2 1 1
and the other onces
1 1 1 3 1 1 1
yeah you get me right?

I GOT NOTHIN
@Paul

Hi guys, thank all for feedback and paul for his stuff:
@Lynus
Thank for your effort, but I don't have grasp of the concept you are explaining. :srsplz: so I just started to try out some stuffs in a video. hopefully that will show how much I understand, and what I still don't comprehend yet. Hopefully it will let you see my thought process.

If you want to show me something from the video, just tell me the general time. like 0:12 or smth
https://vid.me/Lskv

thank